Focus! Seriously. Focus.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been in a conversation or performing on stage and thought to myself: “You’re not focussing enough, Siobhan. You need to focus more. CENTRE YOURSELF. BE IN THE MOMENT. GET INTO FOCUS. CONNECT.”

I definitely feel like my lack of proper focus is probably why I have a habit of trailing off in the middle of…

Wait, what was I saying?

You may laugh, but I actually do this so frequently that my parents and friends tease me about it a lot… I try not to focus on that too much.

It’s taken me a while, but I think I’ve come to something of a breakthrough.
Telling myself to focus doesn’t mean that I suddenly centre in and live in the moment. Instead, I become fixated on how I’m not thinking about the right thing which leads to becoming even more distracted. I realised that in any context (whether on stage or real life), being in the moment meant just that. Just being in the moment.

There’s no need to sit there and repeat cliched mantras in my head like “Centre yourself!” or “Be in the moment!” or “Get in to focus!”. That won’t make me do any of those things. If I want to focus on something or be in the moment or whatever else, I just have to do it.

Which is no doubt easier said than done… But I feel like it’s those kind of things that will probably make me more adulty in the long run. I can’t think of any of the adults that I admire who would just stop mid sentence or mid blog without actually…

…But I guess I’m not quite at their level yet.

What’s something that needs your attention today?

Talitha Cumi

Before I fell asleep last night/early this morning, I started talking to God about this blog. I explained to Him that although I thought I had a good idea and name for it, I didn’t know how or where to begin writing. Actually, I was pretty terrified. I could really embarrass myself and possibly suffer social suicide on the internet. High stakes, yo. I asked Him to help me start and to continue on the journey of adulthood – something which I hoped would lead me towards Him.

I got home from mass a little while ago. One of the readings today was about a little girl who has passed away. Jesus overhears the girl’s father receiving this news and tells him, “Do not fear. Only believe, and she will be saved.” They go to their house and Jesus takes Peter, John, James and the girl’s father and mother. Jesus, ever the all-knowing dude, tells them to stop worrying because she’s not really dead, she’s just asleep.

They laugh at Him. Jesus is actually pretty chill with that response.

The gospel says: “But he put them all outside and took the child’s father and mother and those who were with him and went in where the child was. 41 Taking her by the hand he said to her, “Talitha cumi,” which means, “Little girl, I say to you, arise.” 42” Mark 5:40-42

She does.

I’ve been hearing God’s call to grow up a bit more, but today’s reading made me sit up a bit straighter. It’s not so much growing up that God is concerned about, but rising up.

Rising to the challenge! YEAAAHHH, buddy!

In his homily, my parish priest talked about the strength of women in the bible and in the world today. I felt like God was calling me to be one of these awesome women. I was so excited to join their ranks! Excited and scared.

When I heard about the dead girl I felt like Jesus was speaking to me about my fear of “social suicide”. I felt like Jesus was stretching out His hand /to me/ in that reading and saying /to me/, “Little girl, I say to you, arise.”

“Little girl”. I am His. Completely His… and I am still His little girl – His child. Even though society says I’m now an adult and I have to adult all over the place, I will never stop being His child.

“Arise”. What I most felt He was saying to me was this: “You and I both know you can do this thing. Get up and arise to the challenge”.

What is Jesus challenging you to arise to in your life today?