Life Lessons I Learnt From Disney #8

Depression: Eeyore

For some reason, when I was younger and even still today, I would unwittingly end up counselling friends. Of course, I would hand it over to a school counsellor and/or someone with a degree. If your friend has depression and is coming to you for help, that’s also what you should do too, by the way.

When I was a kid, I never knew what to say to someone who was depressed, so often I would say things like “everything will be okay”. If you have depression, I just want to make it clear that despite what I’m about to write, things can and will get better, and I don’t mean to imply that they won’t.

It took me a while to learn that saying “everything will be okay” wasn’t actually very helpful, even if it was/is true. It took a certain friend to point this out to me. I gave them my #1 Counselling Jewel and they threw it back in my face.

“Don’t say that,” they said. I paused for a second, both out of confusion and frustration.
“Well, what should I say?” I asked.
Then they paused. “I don’t know,” they said, “…Maybe that you understand?”

So I said that… and I kept on saying it any time we had similar conversations.
I’m not sure I did understand properly, though. It wasn’t until I had gone through my own hardships and come out the other side of them that I could have understood what it’s like to want to just sit in your room, in the dark and do absolutely nothing and see absolutely no one because it’s just too hard. Now, saying “I understand” is only something I say when I actually do understand.

Eeyore has taught me both a lot about how people fighting depression see and feel about the world, as well as how a good friend should treat them. I didn’t realise until I was older that he’s probably clinically depressed… But I mean, just look at him.

Awww… bless his heart!
Eeyore’s friends don’t tell him to “cheer up, buttercup”. They do, however, include him in things, treat him as one of the gang, and generally try and understand and empathise with him. None of them get frustrated with him for being gloomy or depressed, because they know that he just can’t help it. Instead, they show understanding and empathy. They always come through for him, which is what warms your heart most when you watch the show.

One of the most famous Winnie the Pooh episodes is the one where Eeyore loses his tail, and all of his friends help him to find it. Just as Eeyore is bemoaning the fact that he will have to spend the rest of his life tailless, his friends show up with his tail!

He’s so cute I can’t even right now.

If your friend or family member has depression, just be there and come through. Try and understand how they feel and help if they ask you. It’s always a good idea to help them find professional help as well.

If you have depression, then please do speak to someone about it and please know that you are so loved. There are people who can help you and will understand what you’re going through. You’re not alone.

So much platonic love and hugs! Have another Eeyore gif, just for fun.

Life Lessons I Learnt From Disney #7

Rose’s Turn: The Beast (Adam)

Heads up: The song I’m going to be referencing for most of this is actually from the stage musical of Beauty and the Beast… So this is very much a lesson I learnt from “Disney”-with-inverted-commas… but that’s a technicality we can just skip over.

To give you some context, this is the last song in the first act right before intermission. Belle has just wandered up to the West Wing where she told never to go, because she’s just a Disney heroine like that. The Beast catches her looking at the enchanted rose that is, technically, his life source. If he can’t love and be loved by the time the last petal drops, he’ll die…

So, when Belle is all like OH THIS LOOKS LIKE A PRETTY THING THAT I SHOULD PICK UP (and possibly drop, thus endangering the Beast’s life), it’s understandable (but not excusable) that the Beast freaks the Heaven out and yells at Belle to get out. Also understandably (and definitely excusably), Belle runs for her life.

This is actually so true for most relationships. Everyone has a rose which they’ve been protecting for all their lives and if someone were to, say, pick it up because they think it’s pretty, we are terrified that they’ll drop it because that would kill us. So, if they do happen to sneak (or even if they’re invited) behind closed doors, we do something to make them run away.

After this happens, because it’s a musical, the Beast sings his feelings…

Long ago I should have seen
*awesome big noises*
All the things I could have been
*awesome big noises* 
Careless and unthinking, I moved onward
*awesome instrumental part*
No pain could be deeper 
No life could be cheaper
No point anymore, if I can’t love her
No spirit could win me
No hope left within me
Hope I could have loved her and that she’d set me free
But it’s not to be
If I can’t love her
Let the world be done with MEEEEEEEEE!
*Siobhan collapses on the floor, dead from overdosing on amazing music*

The Beast finally realises what even we could see when we watched it when we were five, that his descent into ugliness has been going on for a while… and if he continues on that path, he will truly become a monster… He also realises that his total absence of love is what got him into this situation in the first place and learning to love is his only option out of the hole he dug himself.

So, going back to the actual animated Disney movie that we all know and love! The Beast responds to that realisation by running out after Belle and saving her from some wolves (awh!)

Belle returns the favour by helping him clean his wounds and thanks him for saving her life…. which isn’t to say that everything’s fine and dandy now. Just look at that sassy tucking hair behind the ear thing she does! DAYUM, gurl.

But! Slowly, they start to understand each other by sharing the things that makes them, them. Beauty shares her love of reading and books with the Beast, to which he responds by opening up his library to her… I feel like the symbolism behind the Beast opening up those closed doors that reveal an elaborate library and then immediately giving the whole thing to Belle, says something about the Beast as a character and his development. He’s finally learning to trust Belle with the stuff he keeps behind his closed doors…

…but the thing about showing her (and giving her) the library, is that he knew she’d like it, but we know by this that they’re starting to fall in love with each other.

Then all of this rot happens:

Ugh! EW. Look at them looking at each other.
JUST LOOK!
How disgustingly perfect is that?

Pfffft. Bowing.
Laaaaaaaaame!

Ugh. Dancing is so overrated.
Isn’t love disgusting?

Anyway, by this stage we all know that they love each other, even though they haven’t said anything about it out loud… But you know what the most poignant part of this scene is to me?
Look at what room he lets her into next…

Then he tops it all off by letting her go to her sick dad…
BUT SHE COMES BACK!
JUST IN TIME!

…and they say the thing out loud… and the magical things happen…

…and, that was the moment I learnt that ugliness and every other form of negativity is transformed when you choose to be brave and to be loving with everyone you meet. When you’re transformed, although you might seem different to the people watching, it doesn’t mean you’re a totally new person.

You become the beautiful You.

Life Lessons I Learnt From Disney #3

You Do You, Gurl: Mulan

I flipping love Mulan (platonically). I think she’s awesome. Maybe it’s because Lea Salonga is her singing voice (look her up if you don’t know who she is), or maybe it’s because she was one of the first Disney princesses to refuse to conform to the stupid standards society has for women, or maybe it’s because she’s really brave and smart, or that at the end of the first movie SHE LITERALLY SAVES HER WHOLE COUNTRY! …Then she also gets to marry General Shang, who is a hottie, even though he’s a cartoon…

I’m a bit of a fan hers, alright? She’s really cool.
One of my favourite quotes of hers comes from the second Mulan movie.

Squishy Kid: MULAN’S GONNA TEACH US HOW TO KICK. BUTT. 
All the Squishies: YEEEEAAAHHH!! 
Mulan: *awkwardly laughs* Woah, calm down! That’s lesson number two. The first and most important lesson is to be gentle… at the same time we’re being tough. 
Squishy Kid: How can you be tough and gentle?

An excellent question, Squishy Kid!
One that I feel like Mulan answers really well in the song they burst into soon after this dialogue… What impresses me more, though, is that she demonstrates the answer to Squishy Kid’s question in her every day life, as well.

While she is ostracised, ridiculed and pressured to conform to the standards of women in Ancient China, Mulan keeps on being herself. Yes, she struggles with figuring out who she is as we all do, but she does what no one else can AND SHE LITERALLY SAVES HER WHOLE COUNTRY like I mentioned before.

As a person, she learns empathy from the vulnerability she felt as an outcast which teaches her to be gentle. As a warrior, her experiences on the battlefield have made her strong. Interestingly, she’s not so tough that the people in her life are terrified and she’s not so vulnerable that they can walk all over her. She finds a good balance.

Finding the balance between gentleness and strength is something I still struggle with. I think the main thing I need to work on to find the balance is allowing myself to be vulnerable. I feel like that’s the first step. Convincing myself that I don’t feel things isn’t the way to be strong, but addressing and dealing with them will actually allow myself to take control of how I feel and therefore, give me strength. It also means that I won’t be ashamed of how I feel… Which would probably help me to be myself more… I feel like that’s what happened with Mulan as well. Learning how to balance gentleness and strength allowed her to be herself, even if it was completely against the social norms of the time.

Boom.

Life Lessons I Learnt From Disney #2

Of Course You’re Weird: Belle

Belle is an awesome woman. She’s brave, kind, beautiful – and smart. WHAT?!?!? A SMART GIRL?!?!? WHAT?!?!?!?

To the people who live in her town, this is extremely strange. Why would such a pretty girl be interested in things like… reading? Or education? Or… reading? *shudders*

At several points, they describe Belle as being a great beauty, but say it’s a shame and pretty much completely wasted on her… because she is so weird.

A most peculiar mademoiselle.
It’s a pity and a sin – she doesn’t quite fit in!
Well, she really is a funny girl. A beauty, but a funny girl!
She really is a funny giiiiiiiirrrrrllll.
That BEEEEEEELLE!

EXCUSE ME BUT NO.

A SIN?

BECAUSE SOMEONE DOESN’T FIT INTO THE COOL GROUP?

Please.

The thing that cuts me up so much about this, is that Belle actually believes that there is something wrong with her. She buys into the stereotype that because she can’t fit in with people, she must be the problem. She actually asks her father, “Papa, do you think I’m weird?” soon after the entire town has been singing about how weird she is (like everyone bursting out into song at the same time is normal, but I digress).

Belle is a weirdo in this town. Why? Because she’s not judgemental and small minded. Judging by the fact that she falls in love with a character who people refer to as “the Beast” instead of by his proper name (Adam), it’s clear that she doesn’t judge by appearances. SO MUCH YAAASSSS for Belle in the “personality” department. What this taught me was that even though you might not fit in with the people around you doesn’t mean that you should conform to their way of living and seeing the world. Nah, buddy. If the people around you are doing the wrong thing, or are generally being poops and you’re not, then guess what: You’re weird!
And that’s awesome.